. . . was spent nursing a headache.  However, I did go outside for about fifteen minutes after the dogs did their business.  Sitting on the porch, staring at the hypnotic white orb of the moon, feeling the crisp wind flipping through my hair and raising the hairs on my bare arms, smelling the remnants of a nearby bonfire and damp leaves, and listening to the honking of two flocks of geese as they crossed through the midnight blue-black sky, I felt truly blessed.  I found some much-needed peace within myself in that short block of time, and with my headache now gone, I feel ready to tackle several of the problems that have been plaguing me, or more accurately, that I have been allowing to plague me, for it is a choice how I react to situations. 

What a miracle is nature, what a joy is peace, and what a delight is life.

The following article was in the latest issue of Newsweek, and it struck a chord within me.  I want to share this with all of you, because in our crazy, packed, bustling days, we often tend to ignore our need for silence.  I often crave it, and when Mom is out of town and I have the house to myself, the TV stays off, I actually spend less time on the computer, and I tend to play less music.  I read, write, play solitaire (with real, not digital playing cards) and daydream.  As an introvert, I need silence; being alone with little noise helps me recharge.  It is true bliss for me, and like the author mentioned in the article, I would love to spend days living in a small house in the Scottish Highlands.  Looking back, I think that is another reason it was so hard for me to leave the Highlands when I was there two years ago – the peace of the woods, rivers, mountains, and lochs felt so right.

 

Well, enough of my rambling.  I hope you enjoy the article.

 

 

 

( Article here )

 

Found this on a friend's journal

The Bucket List. Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not.

Things you have done during your lifetime:
( ) Gone on a blind date
( ) Gave blood
(x) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Been in a helicopter
(X) Been lost
(x) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Ridden in a police car
( ) Hugged a homeless person
(X) Swam in the ocean
( ) Swam with stingrays
( ) Been sailing in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Ran a marathon
(x) Sang Karaoke
( ) Volunteered at a soup kitchen
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
( ) Seen the northern lights
( ) Been para-sailing
( ) Been on TV
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) Made prank phone calls
(x) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) Fed a Giraffe
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Fired a gun
(X) Danced in the rain
( ) Been to the opera
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Serenaded someone
( ) Seen a US President in person
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone
( ) Driven a race car
(x) Been to a National Museum
( ) Been to a wax museum
( ) Eaten caviar
(X) Blown bubbles
( ) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
(x) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( ) Seen the Grand Canyon
( ) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(x) Traveled by train
(x) Traveled by motorcycle
(x) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
(X) Been to Disneyland/Disneyworld
( ) Been in a rain forest
( ) Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
(x) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing
( ) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
(x) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
( ) Swam with sharks
( ) Been White Water Rafting
(x) Written a book or screen play (currently working on a series)
( ) Been to a Tournament of Roses Parade
( ) Lived in more than one state
( ) Become a parent
( ) Been Bungee Jumping
( ) Been to Vegas
(x) Been to a minor league baseball game
( ) Worked on a political campaign
( ) Been to the top of the World Trade Center or Empire State Building
(x) Ridden a Subway
( ) Been to your High School Reunion
( ) New Years in New York
( ) Mardi Gras in New Orleans
( ) Been to a college Bowl game
( ) Been on an NFL field
( ) Fourth of July in DC
( ) Been to Skywalker Ranch
(x) Met anyone famous

I am now 30.

This statement does not incite worry, or depression, or regret.  As I stated in my previous post, this age finds me excited for the future.  I had a quick thought Saturday night that my feelings might change once the milestone was actually reached, but after being 30 for two days, I had nothing to be concerned about.  I still remain optimistic and thrilled.

I did not do much.  After sleeping in some on Sunday, Mom made me breakfast - bacon and coffeecake, and I opened presents - some cash, several nice cards, the new Dan Brown book, and the Wolverine DVD.  Then I spent time online before getting a shower and heading to Marion to meet my dad for lunch at Applebees.  He gave me a $50 Wal-Mart gift card at the restaurant, and then we visited Grandma for a while, and I showed them my pictures from the June road trip and DragonCon.  After that visit, I stopped by my other grandma's to say hi to her, and then headed home.  Mom made dinner (meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, steamed corn, with cheesecake for dessert) and we watch The Nightmare before Christmas.  Bedtime followed, and back to my routine today.

I want to thank all of you that wished my greetings, both here and on Facebook.  They made my day and I really appreciate your thoughts.  I have the best friends!

-Skirt is completely painted for Luna and is currently drying - tomorrow I will finish sewing it.
-Shoes seem to have finally completely set - laced and ready to go.

In other news, I lost a piece of my tooth last night - it's either actual tooth or a part of the filling.  Of course, the dentist is not open on Wednesdays, so I am hoping I can get in tomorrow.  In the meantime, I get to chew on one side of my mouth - how fun.

The kittens are growing and growing.  Pandora has finally come to accept them, even if she doesn't play with them yet.

William Shatner is now going to be at DragonCon!  OMG!

I am completely sick of this heat and humidity.

Less than two weeks to get stuff finished for con - eek!

First, I wanted to thank everyone who expresses condolences and worry at my last post.  It had been a stressful day, and I found out that two credit cards had screwed me over, and I immediately thought my chance at going to DragonCon was shot for this year.  I cannot express how much D*Con means to me on so many levels, and the thought of not being able to go hurt deeply.  However, I am working to make it happen, and even though I will have to cut way back on expenses this year, I think it will happen, so I am feeling much better.

Now on to the costumes . . .

I haven't gotten much sewing done yet, but progress has been made.

Luna:
-I have purchased most of the materials for the Spectrespecs, and located the last thing I needed, which I will order this week.
-I located the tights!  In my size!
-I have ordered the jacket fabric, the buttons, and the wig.
-I will be purchasing the patterns and muslin for the mockup this week.

Thistle:
-I have started cutting out the ruffles.
-I have all the fabric for both the skirt and petticoat.
-I have ordered the sgiah dubh, the kilt hose, and have found my shoes.
-I am using the same corset that is being done for Dawn, and am using a blue top I made a few years ago for this outfit.
-I already have the clan brooch and the beautiful headpiece Merle made for me last year.

Dawn
-The corset mockup is 95% complete.
-All of the fabric has been purchased except for the lace trim.
-I still need to find my crinoline, and to determine what footwear to use and find my music.

Mystery costume:
-Christine actually thought of this idea yesterday while we were talking, and if I have time, I'm doing it.  It will only take a day to do, and will be a hoot.

I will have a much better update later this week, once I actually start sewing stuff!

The last few days have been a fucking roller coaster, and I am completely confused and feeling a little lost.  So many things have happened, and although in the grand scheme of the world they are nothing, to me they are personal and they hurt.  Right now I am so tired of being an adult, and just want to turn back into a six year old, when the world was simple and the biggest worry was wondering if there would be cookies at lunch.

I might elaborate later, and I might not.  I just feel like crawling into a hole and never coming back out. 

I apologize for not being around much lately, but I've been busy with various things.  However, I was feeling a little guilty about neglecting my LJ, so I've decided to put up a quick post to catch you all up.  :)

-Unfortunately, I haven't completed ANY sewing.  I did purchase the all of the fabric and notions for my can-can petticoat and outer skirt, and have ordered the sgiah dubh and the kilt socks.  I also located my fishnet stockings, my pin, my sash (which I may not use), my blue velvet sleeveless top, and my shoes, so once I start sewing, this costume should come together fairly quickly.  I also located a pattern for the jacket, and might have some good fabric in my stores I can use.  As for Luna, well, it's taking a LOT longer to start that one.  I have a pattern for the skirt and the top part of her coat, but that's it.  I did have a good idea for how to construct the Spectrespecs, but of course I am having trouble locating the parts I need.  *sigh*  At least some stuff has sold on ebay, so I now have a little money for supplies.  I am putting more stuff up on craigslist this weekend, including a few swords.

-The kittens have been ornery, but they are settling down and Pandora is getting used to them. 

-I finished reading the Beka Cooper books last week.  The second one had come out a couple of months ago, and I needed to re-read the first one before starting the sequel.  I also just finished the third part of a Warriors manga trilogy, and the latest Warriors reference book, Code of the Clans.  I had a gift certificate for Amazon to use up, so I purchased the Half-Blood Prince computer game, and two more HP reference books.  I am currently reading one of those, called The Deathly Hallows Lcectures, by John Granger.  His previous book, Unlocking Harry Potter, really opened my eyes to the genuis of JKR, and to literary alchemy in general.  This book focuses on the use of literary alchemy, narrative misdirection, symbolism, and other facets used in the books.

-I slipped off the eating healthier wagon recently.  I've been in a funk lately, and when I get that way, I turn to unhealthy foods.  I don't overeat, in fact, I often probably under-eat, but I've been eating way too many milkshakes, ice cream cones, and popsicles.  I've been wanting to go walking, but I don't feel comfortable walking by myself, and Mom is always too tired to do anything.  I can't wait until I move so I am close to friends, gyms, and public parks!

-I've already started planning a mega Harry Potter marathon for the weekend before the release of DH, part II in July 2011.  What can I say, I like planning events!

-I had my mid-year review at work - went smoothly and was very positive.

Why does everyone always seem to be in such a hurry?  There aren't that many places we travel to that are that exciting.  There is work: yes, we're making money, but come on, how many of us love our jobs that much?  There is home: it's a nice place to be, but also the source of chores, chores and more chores.  There are errands to complete: I don't know about you, but I wouldn't call those the highlight of my day.  However, I've noticed that people rush, rush, rush everywhere, and this saddens me.

First of all, it's alarming how many people drive recklessly on the roads.  I love to drive, especially on the freeways, but the seemingly increasing amount of speeding, darting, and rude drivers on the streets makes it less enjoyable than it used to be.  Almost every day, I almost get sideswiped, rear-ended or pushed out of my lane.  I am not a pokey driver; I tend to drive about four or five miles over the posted speed limit, but so many others fly by me like I am standing still, even in fog, thunderstorms, and snow showers, that I sometimes believe I am the slowest driver on the planet.

The roads aren't the only place where it is easy to feel pushed around and badgered.  Even when using their own two feet, people dash around like life is a marathon.  Individuals dart in and out of stores like pinballs careening around a table.  Hardly anyone takes the time to stroll, gazing at displays, watching their fellow humans, greeting strangers with a smile and a friendly "hello," or savoring the smell of the flowers.

We have lost so much, especially here in America.  I noticed when I was in Scotland how relaxed the population was compared to here.  People crossed the street wherever they desired, and neither of the cab drivers I had swore, made obscene gestures, or honked the horn at them.  Instead, an easy smile and a wave were the pedestrian's gifts.  I witnessed a flock of sheep slowly making their way across a rural road, and the waiting drivers simply put their vehicles in park, rolled down the windows, and conversed with their neighbors.  Shoppers ambled along the sidewalks, often spending ten or fifteen minutes ogling a single display.  Most of the restaurants featured outside seating, always packed, the diners savoring their meals and grinning at the crowds.  People filled the parks, the benches, and any other place where it was safe to sit, reading, napping, or talking.  No one bitched at Starbucks because they had to wait five minutes for their coffee, and I quickly lost track of the number of excited "Cheers!" I received.  It was a wonderful thing to experience, and when I returned here, it actually caught me by surprise to once again encounter the faster pace.

I love speed; don't get me wrong (the faster, the better when it comes to roller coasters, for example).  I also get impatient at times, and have passed my fair share of slower drivers, and I admit I have come up with some very creative curses at those who have annoyed me.  On the other hand, especially since I began taking my photography seriously, I have yearned for a slower life.  Looking for that perfect and unique shot, I have noticed so many things I probably would have overlooked otherwise.  The last five years have been a time of tremendous growth for me, and I have sensed myself feeling more drawn to nature and the influence she holds.  I know I have always had this yearning, but it has recently grown more powerful.  I'm sure part of this arises from embracing the Goddess and the magic (and magick) to be found all around us.  Oh, I do love my modern conveniences - I don't think I will ever voluntarily give up indoor plumbing, electricity, kitchen appliances, or my DVDs, but I also want nothing more than to occasionally retreat from the constant hubbub of the modern world.  A cabin in the woods, with the nearest neighbor at least one mile away, with a horse or two in the yard, and my easel set up on the porch would be nirvana to me.

For it is indeed the simple things that I am remembering, like when I went puddle jumping a few weeks ago (that stills brings a smile to my face when I reflect back on that).  I recall hiking in the Scottish Highlands, encountering a small herd of red deer.  I recollect walking barefoot in a spring shower, the mud squishing between my toes.  There are the picnics in parks, among forests, and by rivers. There are the night hikes admiring the stars, or listening for owls.  Attempting to skip stones, and failing miserably; stopping to relish the sight and breathe in the wondrous perfume of a gorgeous clump of tulips or lilies; closing my eyes and inhaling the scents the wind carries to me.  I have been trying to catch more of these moments, for they refresh and energize me.  I want everyone to experience what I do - to take a breath and truly relax, even if only for a short period each day.

We need to reconnect to our planet, and the joys she provides.  Let’s learn to slow down and look around, to really notice what is around us, not just glance at eighty miles an hour or have tunnel vision as we zero in on that TV sale.  Speeding doesn't save much time, endangers others, and keeps us enmeshed in ourselves, without appreciating what is all around us.  Why not slow down and enjoy the journey?

Well, today was productive at any rate.  I went to the dentist and had my root canal completed; the procedure itself went smoothly, and a cute dentist makes it go even better.  *wink*  Even though the right side of my mouth is still numb, which I hate, because I feel like I am drooling or something.  LOL  Anyway, after the procedure, I hit some stores to do some shopping.  Barnes & Noble was first, to pick up the latest issue of Empire (a British movie magazine).  Of course, I had to see what had been published recently in the fantasy section, and of course, I walked out with three more books - a Star Trek: TNG manga, the Riddle-Master series (which has been out of print for awhile, and was just re-released as a single volume) and the latest Tamora Pierce novel.  JC Penney's was next to get four new bath towels for Mom for Mother's Day, and they were 40% off!  Beach towels were 50% off, so I snagged one for both me (with horses) and Mom (with Lab puppies) for our trip next month.  After that, I stopped at Hallmark to get her a card, some wrapping paper, and I found a cute stuffed Yellow Lab.  I grabbed a new car gel for me too.  Finally, a stop at Tim Horton's to get a jelly doughnut - a reward to myself for getting stuff done and because there is hardly anything I can eat until the novacaine wears off, and I was hungry.

One thing I noticed on the drive home though, was how freaking TENSE I always seem to be.  Even when I do not feel particularly stressed, I realized that my body always seems to be tight.  I have to force myself to relax, which in itself is an oxomoronic thing to do.  I rarely seem to be at ease anymore - hell, no wonder I have headaches and sore muscles!  The only times I feel relaxed are at home when Mom is out-of-state (surprise, surprise) and at DragonCon (when I'm not frantically doing last-minute sewing, that is).  *sigh*

So, does anyone have any recommendations on how I can learn to be more relaxed, so my body doesn't always feel like it's ready for action or something?  I would love to learn how to meditate, but am not sure how to go about it.  Once I move, candles and bubble baths will be a reality, but they aren't at this time.  I think part of the problem is that I don't feel as connected to nature as I used to; I am hoping once I move I can start spending more time in and among nature, but as long as Mom is here to hassle me, that isn't much of an option either.  She is the main reason I haven't been doing much writing lately - she doesn't understand that when she is constantly interrupting me, that I lose all concentration and tend to forget what I was working towards - it's very frustrating for me. 

Anyway, I'll take any recommendations you may have!  Thanks!!

Well, today has been an interesting day.  I've been in Newark, visiting my friends Andy and Kelly, and staying at Andy's house.  It started with me waking up around 10am.  Kim made us breakfast (pancakes and scrambled eggs) and then Andy and I watched some of the anime "Noir" while Kelly was out with her boyfriend.  In the interim, Kim made spaghetti for lunch.  Once Kelly returned, I drove us to Westerville, where we spent over an hour at the Half-Price Books there.  We decided we were meant to go, because Kelly had found three 15% off coupons just laying on the floor at her work.  I found some great deals, and walked out with a stack of books, including one on geisha life, the history and training of the samurai, three Anne McCaffrey novels, the sequel to The Once and Future King (called The Book of Merlyn), a Deep Space Nine novel, and the first two books in a new series by Mercedes Lackey.

After that, we ran to the nearby comic store, where Kelly bought a poster and Andy purchased several items, and then we stopped at Burger King for dinner.  While on the ramp to get on the freeway, I smacked into a pothole.  This angered me so much that I got my swear words mixed up, and shouted out "Fricking shit!"  This caused much hilarity and now has been combined into the single word of "frickinschitt."

We changed clothes and freshened up once we made it back to Newark, and then headed to a local bar called Captain Jack's where a band called Lovesick Radio was playing.  Andy, Kelly and Andy's sister Chrissy knew the members, and I met one of them.  They were very good and fun to watch.  I don't dance, but prefer to listen and observe.  I WANT to go out and dance, but I am also NOT wanting to do so,  if that makes any sense.  It might be because of my weight and my low self-esteem when it comes to my physical appearance.  I can't dance regardless, and I think that seeing an obese woman trying to dance would be a huge turnoff to everybody.  So I stay in the back and try not to be noticed by anyone, while at the same time hoping I will be noticed.  Gah, I am so confusing, even to myself, half of the time.

Anyway, the band ended and it was getting close to 2:30am (closing time in Ohio for bars) and that's when I hit what I call "the wall."  It doesn't happen to me very often, but when it does, it hits hard.  Basically, when I hit the wall, I am very ready to leave the area or situation.  It always happens when I feel I need to get control of things, but others are preventing me from doing so.  In this case, when it hit, I was just wanting everyone to hurry up so we could get going (I was the designated driver, and also had to drop Chrissy and a friend off at their house on the way back to Andy's).  However, they kept wandering off, talking to the band members, or talking to other people they knew.  This made me more and more upset, until I was very perturbed.  I rarely show my emotions, but when the wall shows up, my face doesn't hide anything, and my expression was definitely one of anger, impatience, and annoyance.  They finally started to gather, and Kelly, upon seeing my face, worked really hard to get the stragglers.  I was close to the boiling point (which turns my perturbed state into a very pissed state, which is not pretty in the slightest) and I simply hustled out and across the road to the car.  The wall makes me shut down, and the slightest thing can make me very upset, so it is best to not say anything to me until it passes, which it tends to do pretty quickly (within 15-20 minutes).

Andy and Kelly felt bad about testing my patience, and I tried to convey to them that it wasn't THEM; it's just simply that can hit me when I least expect it.  The last time I hit the wall was the Saturday night/Sunday morning of DragonCon.  Poor Andy really felt horrible, but I assured him I was fine and it technically wasn't anything they did - it's just a quirk of mine.

Anyway, like I said, the band was good.  This was my first time in a bar though, and man, that music was LOUD.  As I am typing this, my head is faintly ringing.  I pray I didn't cause any serious damage to my hearing - of course, that ringing could just be the sound of silence.  LOL

Not sure what is on the plate for tomorrow  I guess it mostly depends on when I get to bed - heehee.  It's 3:30am and I'm not super-tired.  By the time I finish checking LJ and read some in my book, I'll probably make it to bed around 4.

Snatched from lordofhaladin 


1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Quit a job, cooked Cornish game hens, entered a Masquerade contest (and won an award!), made my first costume using a mock-up (and not strictly off a pattern)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I kept hardly any of them, which is why I have decided not to make resolutions for 2009.  I have chosen to set goals I would like to accomplish this year, but I am not beholden to them.

( More . . . )

Yes, I know there are still 2 1/2 weeks left in December, but I am not sure if I will have the time to do another long blog until after the holidays (although I hope to be wrong!).  Therefore, I decided to go ahead and post my Year in Review blog now.  Unfortunately, it's not as exciting as it has been in years past, but it's a tradition now, and I will stick with it.

( It's kind of long, sorry. )


I hope all of my friends have had a good 2008, and I wish you an amazing 2009!!

There are moments in a person's life when time seems to stand still.  Most are happy occasions, like falling in love, the birth of a baby, accomplishing a long-fought-for goal, or spending time in nature on a perfect day.  Some are sad occasions, like seeing the suffering of a loved one, or hearing that a dear friend or family member was suddenly killed.  And some are just plain terrifying; I had one of those moments today.

It begins back in August of this year.  I have been driving to DragonCon for four years now, and a few weeks before the big event, I always take the car in to my mechanic and get any major work done then, and have her checked out to ensure all systems are good.  This year was actually an off year for tuneups, so I decided to get new brakes installed.  The front ones would have been fine through January, but I had the money saved up, and being the worrier/must-try-to-plan-for-all-conceivable-AND-inconceivable-events-that-may-happen type of person, I of course decided to get them replaced before making a 1200 mile round trip.

Now we move to today.  Mom and I decided to run errands today, and that included taking in recycling to the nearby plant in Mt Vernon and clothing to Goodwill.  Normally, we take Mom's car, because I try to take my car out as little as possible to save on gas and wear-and-tear.  However, Mom's car was filled with gifts to a couple of needy families, so we took my car.  Also, I usually drive when we do take my car - not because I don't trust Mom (I've let other people drive before, and it doesn't bother me) but because she is shorter than me, and I hate having to readjust my mirrors, wheel and seat.  Things were different today though, because I simply did not feel like driving.

About three-quarters of the way towards town, the moment of which I refer occurred.  We crested a hill, going an average 58mph on a dry, well-maintained paved two-lane state route, when a truck suddenly pulled out of a driveway right into our path.  This was a very bad situation - trees lining both sides of the pavement, with about a four-foot drop off both sides of the road, heading downhill with nowhere to go but forward.  Mom slammed the brakes, and my car, with a full load, began fishtailing.  The truck that caused the problem was able to move into the left-hand lane, Mom was able to get my car back under control fairly quickly, and we flew past the truck - an accident averted.  The entire incident lasted maybe ten seconds, but indeed, time had stopped for me; it seemed to stretch into hours before we passed that damn truck.

Fortunately, I did not slide into a panic attack (which I was half-expecting) but I was still very keyed up and upset.  First, I was extremely angry at the other driver for almost causing a serious accident, and then I started crying as I realized how close we had come to possibly dying.  Then my emotions swung back to anger, and then extreme worry, as I was certain serious damage had been done to my car, and I couldn't afford an expensive repair.  Then I grew morose.  After that though, I had my epiphany.

I firmly believe everything happens for a reason.  I also believe that we can create our own fate, but there are "overall goals" we are meant to accomplish each life (yes, I believe in reincarnation too).  So many little things lined up today that prevented us from being seriously injured or killed.  If I hadn't decided to get new brakes before DragonCon, they wouldn't have had enough stopping power to reduce our speed in time.  If we had taken Mom's car, which is much lighter than mine, we stood a higher chance of not getting the car back under control, since it is much lighter and doesn't hold the road as well.  If I had driven instead of Mom - well, who knows what would have happened?  I consider myself a very good driver, if overly conservative at times, but I do tend to panic occasionally under stressful situations (not always, but I have had incidences of doing so) and Mom, being older, has more experience.  If the roads had been wet at all, we would have slid off.  If Mom had set the cruise (like she normally does) the engine probably would have stalled.  If someone had been coming the other way, so the truck couldn't move over, it would have been nasty.  I could probably find more "if's" the more I think about it.

I have not met my purpose here.  I firmly believe that is why things lined up to prevent a serious accident from happening.  Does this mean I won't die until I am old, or I will die the second I accomplish my goal, or that I can be careless and reckless?  Of course not!  I do know I have talents, and I am meant to use them; there are gifts I was given, and I am expected to reciprocate by using those gifts.  Some of these gifts I am already using - my compassion, my friendliness, my belief in the goodness of people; some I could be using and developing more - my creativity (photography, digital art, writing), my leadership skills, my ability to learn.  Finally, there are the gifts I do not even know I possess.

I feel blessed.  That is the simplest way to put it.  I was given a chance today to realize all the blessings I have been given, and how very fortunate I am.  I have a job that gives me enough money to pay my bills, plus have a little extra for the occasional item for me.  I have a roof over my head that is warm in the winter and fairly cool in the summer.  I have more than enough food to eat and clean water to drink. I have access to indoor plumbing, soap, clean towels, toothpaste, eyeglasses, shoes, and hand lotion.  I have four wonderful pets - a family - amazing friends.  I have my computer, with the Internet, that keep me in touch with friends.  I have access to books, movies, music, and television.  And I have a car that allows me to travel, even if that same freedom comes with risks.

For what is life without risks?  It is a dull existence.  Driving is a risk that we all assume.  Therefore, we cannot take our vehicles for granted.  We do the best we can to make sure our cars are in good condition, we watch for other drivers, we try to drive defensively and responsibly, and sometimes, even with all of our planning and awareness, things happen.  The same is true for our lives - we cannot take what we have for granted, for it could all be gone tomorrow.  I have felt like I have had a chance to be reminded of these simple facts, all through a few seconds of spinning on a rural road.  The seconds lasted forever - the lesson that came with them must remain as long.  I thank today's situation for reminding me of this.